The insignificant pseudoprime

The last 25 were mostly happy.

The childhood was a blur of balloons, 'lingo cha' and road trips with the family.
The teenage years had an appropriate amount of angst and an inappropriate amount of bad language, bad music and bad hair cuts.
The years after that, the ones I remember most, have been days filled with a profound sense of fear at my complete lack of understanding of anything mortal, and a terrifying realization that there may be nothing, no one who is Immortal. Love came and went, leaving moments of temporary joy and artifical emotion. Music filled the silence and books filled the solitude. I had brief fits of raging cynicism and enduring faith in the greater good of humanity. I was immensely self-centred in the name of self-realization and the philosophical search of the 'I'. I am still sometimes socially inept. I made friends, lost friends and reconnected with friends. I resisted technology till I couldn't. I resisted change till I realized I shouldn't. I followed fashion and denounced fashionistas. I admired anonymous strangers who wrote their deepest feelings in words that truly moved me. I secretly wanted to marry Captain Planet. I did not believe in the institution of marriage and the sometimes strange rituals that my religion professes. I travelled to the most exotic and the most mundane places on Earth. I ate cuisines of different countries and still preferred curd rice and mango pickle, in winter, in a country full of people who do not speak my tongue. I could say Hello and 'I dont know' in 38 different languages and counting. I was ashamed of my parent's wealth, proud of it, disowned it, lived with it and was grateful for it. I was envious, petty and had a foolish craving for appreciation. I made a difference in someone's life, and she changed my life forever. I started a movement, shunned it. I gave up on people and realized too late that I shouldn't have. I've felt ecstatic and indifferent about the same thing at different times, different moods.

I was good, most of the time. I was better when I tried.

(To be completed..)