but y???

i jus figured veerappan had to have sum 'political godfathers' to be in hiding for so long n not get caught...for a change the tn govt dint make a huge hue n cry abt sum overintelligent plan to get him...ok now there's a lotta debate abt the jayalalita connection n she took credit for the whole operation cocoon neway...so gd the 10 month covert op was a success...but i jus dont understand the timing...i jus figured it'd b before sum elections or sumthin...u no to garner votes n stuff...
so y now???? oh n i read another article abt there bein an enquiry into whether he actually committed suicide...n there r lotsa ppl wondering y that moustache of his was not the usual(frankly who cares abt thaaat?)...
so obly v hafta look for reason in everything...so the big ques..Y???
maybe it was jus a straightfwd thing...or jus maybe there was sumthin more... so a conpiracy theory's gotta b there..(n dont v jus luv conspiracies???) but what could the conspiracy be??
i thot i had a great one figured out...the oft-repeated politics-underworld link..but it turned out to b pretty lame n a li'l filmy(n a bad one at that)... i told my friend this....the whole theory...no censors(ok there were no item gals involved i promise!)...he laughed at me n he's the kinda guy who tells me things like i'm over-gifted n all that jus to keep me happy! so obly i'm not gonna risk that humiliation again... :|

a few lines

life's interesting...jus finding my way to live my truth....:)

veerappan's been shot dead...i smell a huge conspiracy...tell ya abt it later...

the chennai test was a draw...n that too wen v were in the winning position...GOD is unfair....oh n wats unfairer(or is it more unfair...ok wateva)is that there's no test in hyd...

saw fahrenheit 9/11...collateral...terminal...

wondering abt my exams??? did them jus GREAT...

listenin to sum fantastic music...

oh everything's jus fine...the way it shd be...not gonna take it for granted this time...

The Rainy Day

The last 2-3 days have easily been the most depressing this year...

I am feeling so low and listless and lethargic...i feel totally unmotivated...i am completely bored and tired with everything. I know its jus a dull phase...
i'm so scared of sumthin...its like this horrible premonition...call it woman's intuition or wateva...it's like everything feels so painful and pathetic...i've lost all my zest for life...my enthusiasm has jus disappeared...i'm in that mood where i jus wanna fade into oblivion...
i feel i'm not contributing in a positive way to anyone or anything...i'm really not making a difference to my frenz or my family or society or my college or my country... i jus feel like i'm a waste of a life...
i know sumthin terrible is goin to happen...i'm jus not able to pull myself outa that vortex of emotions...it's jus dragging me deeper everytime i struggle to get out of this depression...
i feel emotionally drained...i feel like i have no reason to live, for the simple reason that i'm not any1z reason to live...
i jus feel bitter abt everything...i'm turning out to b sumthin i'm not...i'm takin the easy way out...i'm not putting up a fight...i have all these negative thoughts kinda influencing everything i do...i've become envious and petty...i've become selfish and manipulative...i hate the person i m right now...n now i feel like i'm jus drowning in my self-pity....

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

- Henry Wordsworth Longfellow