Unnecessary

We seek
a relationship's infinity,
the question is
can you reach out
to another's divinity?

I've become a little obsessed with divinity(yeah divya, divine...get the drift? You genius, you!!) and with the concept of a life(oh yeah it's the "my life" thing again!) that trancends these imaginary boundaries I seem to have created around myself. A life I should learn to aspire to, or if I'm already there, get accustomed to. Or is it just an illusion I yearn for?

There are so many things I take for granted, so many times I really undervalue the people in my life. Some of you who read this already know that and you're still reading? And that's what I love you for and this is what you love me for.
All the issues that affect me are quite pathetic too. Sure, some words are hurtful and some people are horrendous(this is more than a compliment for the people I'm talking about). Why can't I rise above it all and give a beatific smile and feel completely satisfied with myself? Why can't I disregard it? But I can't. I'm no Mahatma Gandhi. Talking of him, check THIS out.
It's a little controversial. Take it with a pinch of salt 'cos some of it may be out of context. Poor Advani's also in trouble 'cos of it. Atleast for me, that's a lesson learnt. 3 days of Advani bashing(I apologize, Mr. L.K.A) and it took a Barkha Dutt to convince me about the whys and whats of everything he said.

Anyway, since this is an I-centric post(like everything else here)..
Though I'm 20(atleast for another 2 and a half months), I remember only about 13-14 years, most of which have crystal clear images and even technicoloured motion pictures, but the rest are hazy. A few snapshots here and there. Nothing satisfactory or even reliable. For all I know and for the little that I care, they may only be a figment of my hyperactive imagination. A quarter of my life has already been squandered on wishful thinking and ambitious planning. It hasn't been completely futile. I've done some supposed-to-be exceptional things in areas even 2 year olds can be exceptional at. I believe I have the ability to leave a lasting impression. This can be positive or negative, I guess. Your brain can take you wherever you want to go. Obviously since your opinion doesn't count, you can save some of your thinking cells if you just don't.

Now, since we have complete control of our lives(unfortunately except financially), is it possible to programme ourselves to be whatever we want? If life is just a perception of the mind, can we tune ourselves into thinking success? So if I think success, am I actually successful? Or is the "I think, ergo I am" thing just a load of crap? Are we always going to be within these limits like money(relative wealth) and status(also relatively speaking)? Is it impossible to live outside of these barriers? Will I always be worried about my next pay cheque and if I'll
get to college/work alive and in time? What about all the new horizons I want to explore?
What do I want? What do I need? What do I lack? Another few 4 word questions and we've got the lyrics for a ridiculous boy band song.

Yeah well. "Life is a lesson. You learn it when you're through". Atleast that was Linkin Park talking/singing and not some...