Today, I am more lost than I was at 18. I have such an over-articulated life. Every emotion has an outpouring of observation and intricate analysis. Why? How? Questions that destroy peace. I just want to be.
What perturbs me most is how I associate with other human beings. Even my most intimate relationships seem to be an amalgamation of what I am and how I want to be. A little inauthentic.
Over the past eight years, one person has been a constant. Whose love for me seems unrestricted, almost impractical. And I reject it, more often than I accept it. I seem to thrive on being defiant and provoking angst in him. It's almost subconscious. But I yearn for his immutable presence in my life and now more than ever, I am obliged to him. For allowing me my small liberties and loving me, just the same.
Perhaps it's time I tell him how I really feel.
About Me
- divinity
- I am deeply interested in sustainable solutions for improving employability. I love travelling to music festivals, historical landmarks, lists (from grocery shopping lists to '500 things to do before jumping off your building'), watching men's tennis, Fantasy cricket, critiquing stand up comics, writing long emails, attempting haikus.. Did I say long lists?