Blah!

I have been silent for too long. The least attractive man, like oh-please-get-away-now kinds, is the one who can't stop tooting their own horn long enough to notice someone other than themselves. You know the one. Every other sentence out of their mouth tells you how much they have accomplished and why they are so fabulous. "I'm hot, successful, and gifted. I’m working so hard, I got a degree from Wharton, I have this great car.” Bah! If you spend some of that time doing something to help the community, I would be a lot more impressed. What a turn-off! It’s one thing if I ask. Of course I want you to be forthcoming and engaging. But if we're talking like two normal people in a lounge bar and all of a sudden you want to give me your curriculum vitae like I'm a horse breeder or might offer you a job.. I wish you wouldn't. I do not need all that unsolicited information.

Come on, everybody likes to talk about themselves. It’s an ego-boost to hear yourself talk. That's why so many people blog. Vanity. They want to hear themselves, and have other people tell them how brilliant and entertaining they are. That's cool. But just maybe I would like the opportunity to ask you what you do rather than have you just offer it up! Give me a chance to get to know you a little slowly. Try talking about something other than yourself for like 10 minutes. Try. You might learn something. Amazing, I know.

Another thing I hate is when people ask me what I like to do. Where am I supposed to start with that one? I mean really. Read, write, google random stuff (Can you buy a kite in Antarctica? Haven’t you wondered? The wind would be awesome!), shop and shop some more, read magazines, talk, gossip, watch movies, eat, sleep, take pictures, travel, more than ever Bhumi. I mean I'm sure I could go on forever. A summary won’t do. So either take the time to get to know me or realize that this is just me at my nicest, when I’m not bitching or have my hair unwashed and frizzy. You don't necessarily need my life story to dance with me.

That being said, where can I find someone hot, successful and gifted in Delhi?

So anyway, go ahead and stroke my ego. Tell me how brilliant I am.

God, it’s November. Holidays and God-awful ugly sweaters. And you know what I mean. Those sweaters that you see and cringe and wonder if their blind grandmother gave it to them. The one even God thinks is awful. And She made the person that made it. Come on! But then this isn’t half as bad as Hyd. Oh yeah, did I neglect to mention that Hyderabad is the bad fashion capital of the world? I think I forgot to mention that. Yes, Hyderabad has more fashion faux pas per capita than any other city in the world. It’s true. At least I'm convinced that it’s true. There's NIFT and Lakhotia or something where people can take classes to learn fashion. It’s not working. I even had a dream about them. I am in Connaught Place for no more than 12 minutes and I see them EVERYWHERE! Like one of those horror movies where you can't believe your eyes and whatever you're scared of is suddenly all around you. Or you're in a field with all that elephant grass and you can't see anyone. You don't know what to do. You scream. Aaaaahh!! You know the sweaters I'm talking about. Those sweaters with no less than 4 colours. Usually with horizontal prints. Or with those circles and three dimensional swirls. I don't want your sweater to reach out and touch me. Or stab me in the eye. That is NOT cool. It hurts. A lot. I don't like things in my eye. The monstrosities that they call "fashion sweaters" at those horrid stores where you buy them! The stores that should be called "Hi, I'm a mom and I just don't care anymore."
http://www.uglysweaterstore.com/ Please click on that link. Roll over the title and click on the link. Please. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I can't. This is an actual current option to purchase. Granted, it’s called ugly sweater store. But still.

For real, you're driving me crazy looking like you just rolled out of bed five minutes ago and didn't even brush your teeth. Please stop.

(And RP, thanks for reading, if you did. :) And ignore the mood.)