day 2 of week 40

today will go down 2004 history as one of the best days all year...

i'm a member of PIPFPD- thats pak ind ppl's forum for peace n democracy... i went to their office today...it's in charminar btw...pretty close to the bus stand...
i never saw charminar up close...it's jus awe-inspiring!..i mean its so beautiful...
neway the whole place is jus so full of life...everything's so spontaneous...its awesome... neway the guy who called me told me i was selected to go to...hold ur breath...pakistan...by invitation...all expenses paid...isnt that amaaaaazin???
neway my prnts as usual hafta rain on my parade...they rnt too enthu abt it...
i dunno y...actually i do but...
wat if i go neway?? it's not like i need money or anythin... i think it's a great opportunity...n jus 5 ppl from the entire country...1 billion ppl...i feel its pretty cool...ok so modesty isnt really one of my better attributes...neway...

neway after that i went all the way up charminar...the view is panoramic...so colourful and vibrant...it jus fills u up with positive energy...my friend pretended to lose balance...god that realllly scared me...then i bought this amazin lac bangles..i'm not really big on jewellery but these bangles are perfect....they have those li'l glass things all over and they shine like stars...it reminds me of the city lights wen ur jus landing at the hyd airport...like diamonds on an african woman's neck...jus perfect!!!

i came back hm and went to play tennis...my coach and i...v jus rallied...and i'm gettin really good at it...improving each day...i can actually feel the flow...each time i hit the tennis ball i know exactly where it's gonna land n all...but my service is givin me probs...i think today i had abt 40-50% of my 1st serves in. That's a really pathetic statistic..neway i guess practice makes perfect...

ok n i was waiting for this call all day and the worst part of it was i got the call wen i wasplaying tennis...my cell was on the silent mode...full concentration on tennis n all...n i missed it!!!so disappointing that was... but then i got the call again...yayyyyy!! n v talked...btw it wasnt a guy...ok it was...but not in the
oh that GUY called me way...it's diff...i'll explain wen the plan works out...isnt the suspense jus killing you???

all crap..part 2 :)

ok so the week was great...

i know every1z jus waiting for the sob story...but...

the vinayaka thing actually worked out great... i sang..*applauds herself*...n these twins..girls..they performed to a classical song..it was very basic...n they made a few mistakes...but who am i to criticize?? n then after that v organized a quiz...it was called fun fundas(guess who came up with the oh-so-deceptive name!!)... n it had all GOD related stuff... today i read this interview of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar..he's the 1 who established the Art of Living Foundation...neway acc to him G-O-D stands for Generator, Operator and Destroyer..the whole "trimurthulu" i.e. the divine trinity concept is jus so easy to understand now...
oh abt the quiz..it was a blast..v asked the teams to recite slokas...n give 5 names for shiva...n things like that...oh n this is cool...did u know the goddess lakshmi's vehicle(vaahana) is the white owl?? amazin huh!!..n every1 really appreciated our effort..ok yea so i do need appreciation for everything i do...nothing comes free..esp not MY time...i know its all become commercialized..but hey its for a good cause!!

all my enthu jus got drained at my last CAT class...it was a basic math thing... abt the number line n even n odd numbers n things like that... i answered only 2 ques in the whole class... n he kept throwing random ques at every1 in general...
its not like i dint know the concepts but the ans jus clicked so late..n by then half the class had already answered the ques...i really felt pathetic...
i've decided to forget abt the verbal part for a while n conc only on math...

n the SSC--- Short Service Commission for women in the army is for 5 years too...
i really wanna do it but my dad wants me to get into IIM-A cos he studied there..
god i hate all these dynastic expectations..if i can call them that...neway on one hand i really live by the "Show me the moneeeeey!!" slogan that Jerry McGuire made famous...but then i have this totally philanthropic side...dunno which 1's gonna win in the end...i think i'm doin all this CRY vol work for the certs too...ok 70% for the certs n 30% for the kids...wat??? atleast i'm being honest...

but all this really scares me... i really wanna be a good human being... i know i'll give 5% of my earnings every month to charity cos thats wat both my parents do..again the doubt..is it too much or too little??? i know nothing n nobody can be defined by sum kinda absolute good n evil theory...maybe v jus try too hard...how important is money? wat is happiness? r these questions so difficult to answer? or maybe the answers keep changing according to our experiences and our ever-changing environment... i really wanna make a diff..not in my sister's life or my boy-friend's..ok not even human-kind in general...cos the scale is jus too large..but shdnt v think BIG?? neway i jus wanna make a diff to sum1 who after that wont b indebted to me for life n all that...sum1 who needs ME...not physically or emotionally...the need shdnt be limited by sumthin like that...sum1 who jus needs me for me...n sum1 whom i can help without feeling like i've done an amazing thing n jus helpin cos i wanna...

god...i'm so sorry...this always happens...i start writing down everything that comes to my head n it all sounds like a loada crap...

neway bottomline--- it was an eventful week n my tennis has improved drastically...
n even the Rain Gods are smiling down on me!!!

vinayaka's victory dance

v have this ganesha idol in whisper valley...i havent seen it yet..

basically the thing is..everyday 3 families from wvalley co-ordinate and do the puja...n call the rest of the colony residents for dinner...today is our turn...

it was sposed to be yday but i got my mother to postpone it to today...yday was THE MATCH...yea i know v lost...blame it on bad cosmic karma but never on our beloved cricketers!!!

neway i really feel that the whole idea is jus lost sumwhere...everything is so material-driven now...frankly i dunno wat exactly GOD is...i dont pray everyday..i'm not over-pious...i visit the temple wen my family does...i dont really wish for nething...(ok i do but its all the usual stuff which v ultimately get only if v "work hard"..so no pt)...neway i do know sum slokas...n a li'l abt vedic spirituality..n the whole idea of hinduism..wat it stands for...is jus fascinating...neway now the whole thing is jus so artificial...they actually have fashion shows every evening...u no kids take part one day...the next day the teenagers of the colony n so on...last yr one of the "judges" actually asked this 17 yr old.."how wd ur parents react if they saw u in a movie theatre alone with a guy"...nuthin wrong with the ques if it was a general query...but wat really irked me was that this was in front of this towering ganesh idol...i mean where is the devotion??? yea so i did learn classical music till i was in class 10..n then obly my interests then went directly from m.s.subbalakshmi to metallica...not that there's nethin wrong with metallica cos i seriously luv sum of their songs...but then i have that need to listen to sum m.s.sub also once in a while cos carnatic classical music is the best! it's really soothing and their voices...u can jus tell the diff between sum1 who's trained in carnatic music n sum1 who's jus got talent but not the voice...neway all I do is sing the few songs that i know word-to-word on these festival days n only because sum neighbour either cajoles me into it or sum1 in my family orders me to do it...either way..it's great listenin to every1 praising me but i forgot exactly wat i'd first started with...

neway there r a few ppl who feel as strongly as i do abt this fashion fiesta that goes on every yr...so maybe this time instead of that v can actually have sum classical music or a bharatnatyam recital..even if its a li'l amateurish..i think it'll still be better n more appreciated...

neway wish me luck...they'll defly ask me to sing n i know a coupla vinayaka keertanas..i jus hope i dont forget the words...

happy vinayaka chaturthi... :)

n dont ask me wat the victory dance bit was abt...thats a story for another day...i actually started out to write abt that but... :)

Rahul Dravid is God

ok...so maybe v wont win the match today...but everytime..without fail..he just reaffirms my faith.

actually maybe v will win cos even pak is 1/1 now...n its jus great...that too without sachin...hey i came up with ths really dumb theory...i call it the sahara theory..
dont laugh... ok i jus figured...our official sponsor is SAHARA right..n basically i jus feel SAchin ke bina India HARA...lol..ok so i'm not the next einstein but wateva...

ok 10/2 now...again on irfan's bowling n dravid's brilliant keeping...man he never ceases to amaze me. so who says nice guys finish last...today dravid hit his 54th half century..man he's jus brilliant...neway u already know that...gtg watch the match now..i hope v're the ones who'll play west indies at southampton on wednesday...watever it is, GOD is our side...

p.s. i kinda believed god was female till today...so with great humility i eat my words..
DRAVID u r my hero..

a must read

this is a mail i got from lynate...it's pretty cool...

"I came across this article in the magazine Outlook.......But I thought this
article is so good that everyone on MS should read this. It is written
by Madhu Trehan. She writes regularly for Outlook and in this she is
replying to a letter by a reader. Both the letter have been written.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Madhu

I have read your articles ever since I was a kid and you were at India
Today. You have often come across as a balanced person not prone to
Gandhi nonsense, until now.

I live in a White Nation (the US) and have never felt like a second
class citizen. Only a blind and a deaf person can compare the pride of a
US citizen with the indignity of being an Indian. A US citizen trusts his
government, knows his/her death will never go unpunished, while an
Indian solider is there to die.

Elite is a bad word in India because 95% of our country lives in abject
poverty. Next time ask the waiter in Taj who served you the Rs 400
drink, how much he makes in a month. I bet his monthly salary will be around
your dinner bill. Shame on you and journalists like you who have failed
India in the past with coloured reporting and are doing so now. They
should feel ashamed. Rather than calling bush names, maybe we should
hang our heads in shame on PMs like Vajpayee who is too old to walk,
too much of a coward to protect his people.

Maybe, just maybe, the day people like us (the English educated hence
smarter) start feeling ashamed enough we will start making changes in
India rather than just exploiting our servants and labour class. It
anguishes me to read this national character articles. A nation that
cannot feed its people (a la Orrisa) has no character, a nation whose
children move around naked (Mumbai) has no reason to feel proud, a
nation whose elected reps call religious riots opposite reaction has
no future.

Once again, shame on you and all of India. I am ashamed to be an Indian
and shame on you for suggesting anything else.

Chet
(Chaitanya)

Her response was.....

Hello Chet,
I will answer your letter point by point.
O Your name. You can be Chet or Jet, stay away from the sun, fake an
American accent, but you will never be able to run away from Chaitanya.
He will always be there even though you hate him today.

O Gandhi, whom you hold in such contempt, despite all his controversial
behavior, is largely responsible for the fact that there is no white
boot on a part of your anatomy today.

O You live in a white nation but you are not white and never will be.
You can fool yourself to believe that you are not treated as a second
class citizen. You choose to forget the Dot Busters, the Sikh who was
killed because he looked foreign and rampant racism. How many times a
week do you have to explain where you are from and spend your time
EXPLAINING India to Americans? I cringe to think what you say to them
about India. We do not need spokesman such as you. You will never be
able to share a good desi joke with any of your new friends. If you
cant laugh together, you cannot understand each other. You will always
be an alien.

O Yes, we are economically poor compared to US but we do not have to
suffer the highest rate of teenage pregnancies, kids coming into schools
and killing students and teachers, the highest rate of suicide among
college students, alienated parents and children, lonely old people
dumped into old age homes, drugs being offered to eight year olds (as my
daughter was when she was in the UN school in New York), serial
marriages and divorces. The US had a president who was senile and deaf
(Reagan), one who turned out to be a serial sex offender (Clinton), and
now you have one who didnt know the heads of state of major countries
and ignored warnings of a terrorist attack months before it took place.
The US is responsible for massacres in Vietnam, Cambodia, Iraq, Chile
and the list goes on. The rest of the world does not view America with
the rose-coloured glasses you have been brainwashed by the US media to
see thorough. And, how much does a waiter in Jean Georges restaurant in
Trump International Hotel in New York make compared to the price of the
drink he is serving? The labour class in exploited all over the world.

O You seem to very upset that I am pointing out we have a national
character to be ashamed of and we should do something about it. Your
insistence that we stay ashamed and do nothing about it is perhaps to
make it easier for you to live in a country where the only religion is
to hang out at malls and accumulate consumer items you dont really need
but have been diktated by advertising to buy that, to keep the US
economy going. It is not by accident that Americans are flocking to yoga
and meditation classes to buy happiness.

O You have done well to leave a country you are ashamed of. Call
yourself an American but sooner or later your disguise and American
Halloween costume will frighten you enough to get rid of it.

O I love America's energy and have good friends there. New York is a
centre for an enormous outpouring of creativity and imaginative
thinking. Every country has its own problems. It is for the people who
belong there to take responsibility for change.

O If you are so far removed from India, ask yourself why you are so
anguished with my article. Chaitanya is raising his head, Chet is in
trouble.

Regards,
Madhu Trehan"

on a high

dont have too much time..

neway my cat classes r goin great...i actually topped my class in the first test...either all my classmates r really dumb or i'm over intel... :)

its been drizzling again...so no tennis...

gd federer won the u.s.open...i hate hewitt...
the paki-kenya match was rained out...dunno if that'll make a diff to our points at the ICC Champions Trophy..

i'm not goin for the kerala trip...it's so disappointing... that too after i was the one who made the plan..n got every1 the 2500 buck deal...n thats for 7 days excludin the train ticks...i think thats damn reasonable...(point to be noted: shd think of takin financial management as my core sub in iim...over-optimistic or...???) neway they're goin to cochin, munnar, allepey, thekkady,trivandrum n back to cochin and maybe to the ISRO thing in Tumba if they get permi...i'm tryin to work that out also...if it does work out..it'll be awesome..only prob..i wont be there...neway it'll b like a 1 wk brk cos v wont have classes...n my bf'll also b in hyd till tuesday so..it shdnt b allll that bad...
but i was really lookin fwd to it..neway i guess its always for the best..

oh n the best part...i lost weight without really workin too hard...all the gymming is finally showin results...thats y i'm takin a 4 day brk n treatin myself to all the things i think i've been deprived of...(read pizza, chocolate pastries etc...icecreams i anyway dont like too much...)

neway thats abt it...jus went thru wat i wrote n it all sounds so boring but the thing is...life's neva been better (except for the 1 time wen... and the other time wen...lol) no..but seriously life's great...jus prayin this phase lasts for a while..

there's sumthin abt john...

today was a frenz b'day...

as usual i dint no wat to buy for her...i mean wat do u give a gal who has everything she wants except the 1 thing she needs?...it's really not as corny as it sounds...

n the worst part is...the need thing usually refers to a guy....n this time too the sad truth is...that it is a guy...wat is it with gals n their need to have sum1 who worships them 24/7...that jus shows a really sad self-image or sum kinda attention craving syndrome...but every1 craves attention i guess...but y fixate on the 1 guy who wont give it to u???
neway that had nuthin to do with her...she's an awesome gal who deserves the best..n she's with that guy of hers right now... :)n i had a LOT to do with the orchestrating of their rendezvous...hehe

neway v saw dhoom at prasads...my 2nd time...n i jus cant get enuf of john abraham...yea so he's not the oscar winning types...but his looks r way beyond hollywood too...he's jus got so much style n class...not the creepy so-called almost pompous holier-than-thou thing that simi garewal has goin on...but this is the real thing...he's jus so...*droooool* ;)

i was listenin to metallica today after ages...i know reload is one of their more popular albums...but i jus looooove low man's lyric...

My eyes seek reality
My fingers seek my veins
There's a dog at your back step
He must come in from the rain
I fall cause I've let go
The net bellow has rot away
So my eyes seek reality
My fingers seek my veins

The trash fire is warm
But nowhere safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn

So as I write to you
Of what is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
'Cause lowman is due

Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality
My fingers feel for faith
Touch clean with a dirty hand
I touch the clean to the waste

this isnt the whole song...but then it gets repetitive...its a great song...one of my fave metallica songs...n it brings back a lotta memories...

there's jus sumthin abt music...
i mean there r soooo many songs i can jus put a date on and an incident to. there r lotsa songs that r spl jus cos they were playin wen sumthin happened...
songs bring back beautiful, almost forgotten memories...u no that nostalgia...that feelin jus rushes thru u wen u go back there n kinda feel everythin all over again...the love u felt wen he jus looked at u the first time....the pain u feel wen a friend betrays u...the whole adrenalin rush of victory...the beauty of it is jus so sublime...it's great...

n right now...i'm jus high on love... :)

Life or sumthin like it :)

“Life is like a piano. What comes out of it depends on how you play it...”
- Anonymous

“Life ain’t fair. But it isn’t fair with everyone; n thats wat makes life fair”
- Anonymous

“For a moment, life could be still. But never in lifetime, can a moment be still. Live every moment!!! ”
- Anonymous.

“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once...”
- Lillian Dickson

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear that you will make one...”
- Elbert Hubbard

“Life is a journey, not a guided tour...”
- Anonymous

“The supreme irony of life is that no one gets out of it alive...”
- Robert Heinlein

“The small courtesies sweeten life, the great ennoble it...”
- Bovee

“Everyday is a little life and our whole life is but a day repeated...”
- Hall

Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get
-from Forrest Gump

"Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on."
-Samuel Butler

catchin up with life

the day's been unbelievable so far...

all things incredible r usually things u dont expect will ever happen... ok i no that isnt a mindblowing philosophy but for me it's a discovery...

life's never been better... i m finally 20!! all grown up!! i think i'm doin all the right stuff..
but wats great is i finally found a friend i never knew i was lookin for!! yea as soon as i wrote that i felt the "whateveeeeer" in my head but the thing is..it's true...i dunno y but it's jus made me happier...actually happier...

sometimes u feel like there r ppl who jus dont give u enuf time or watever n then u realize that there r better ppl worth all that time n effort n more...n thats wen u realize that u jus hafta cherish wat u have n let go of things u never had...

n this blog thing actually sux....cos i wrote down all my 13 Birthday Resolutions but i pressed the wrong key n i lost the pg where i wrote all that down...n i jus dint have the patience to write them again...

neway today there's sumthin that's jus makin me soooo HAPPY..i dunno if it's the weather or......

my CAT coaching is startin tomm...i dunno how to be prepared for that...i dunno if it'll be tuf...i dunno if i'm good enuf...i know i'm intelligent and have pretty much everything it takes...but i dont have the discipline to put in all that HARD WORK...n maybe the CAT is also overhyped like sooo many other things...

v finally won...n dravid got out of his lean phase...my theory is..for a change he wasnt keeping wickets..maybe that's actually makin a diff...n ganguly...i have newfound respect for him...he's actually startin to look cute..:)

but its still drizzling...couldnt play tennis again today...n i was really lookin fwd to it too...n i'm so glad sharapova lost to pierce...lol...it's a girl thing...
but seriously i saw mary pierce playin here in apna hyd n she's got class..the way she carries herself n all..great attitude...

i started practising on my music again...i've seriously forgotten how to sing..but i intend to get better...
aim: by dec 2004, i shd get back to singing like i used to...
neway lets c how that goes...

n 1 more thing i've decided is to get onl only on weekends or if i have assignments i hafta research for..cos it's really becomin a waste of time...

i think i shd start preparin for a yr end thing of all my philosophical discoveries/rediscoveries in 2004...it shd b interesting...cos this yr has been awesome so far and the best part is...jus looks like its only gonna get better!!!

my birthday resolutions

1. be less egoistic.

2. dont be insensitive to issues that seem very trivial to u but r BIG PROBLEMS to others.

3. do not become overly sentimental about things.

4. visit the temple once a week.

5. do not over-analyze everything. look at the bigger picture.

6. keep sight of ur short term and long term goals and work hard towards them. make a commitment.

7. work out everyday. the healthy body..healthy mind thing is true.

8. do not b judgemental.

9. do not give undue importance to ppl who hurt u.

10. be open to change.

11. do not criticize ppl openly.

12. complete reading atleast one classic a week. make time for reading everyday.

13. learn not to break the resolutions u make.

is 13 unlucky?? couldnt think of one more.. neway i'm not at all superstitious so i guess it wont matter...