all crap..part 2 :)

ok so the week was great...

i know every1z jus waiting for the sob story...but...

the vinayaka thing actually worked out great... i sang..*applauds herself*...n these twins..girls..they performed to a classical song..it was very basic...n they made a few mistakes...but who am i to criticize?? n then after that v organized a quiz...it was called fun fundas(guess who came up with the oh-so-deceptive name!!)... n it had all GOD related stuff... today i read this interview of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar..he's the 1 who established the Art of Living Foundation...neway acc to him G-O-D stands for Generator, Operator and Destroyer..the whole "trimurthulu" i.e. the divine trinity concept is jus so easy to understand now...
oh abt the quiz..it was a blast..v asked the teams to recite slokas...n give 5 names for shiva...n things like that...oh n this is cool...did u know the goddess lakshmi's vehicle(vaahana) is the white owl?? amazin huh!!..n every1 really appreciated our effort..ok yea so i do need appreciation for everything i do...nothing comes free..esp not MY time...i know its all become commercialized..but hey its for a good cause!!

all my enthu jus got drained at my last CAT class...it was a basic math thing... abt the number line n even n odd numbers n things like that... i answered only 2 ques in the whole class... n he kept throwing random ques at every1 in general...
its not like i dint know the concepts but the ans jus clicked so late..n by then half the class had already answered the ques...i really felt pathetic...
i've decided to forget abt the verbal part for a while n conc only on math...

n the SSC--- Short Service Commission for women in the army is for 5 years too...
i really wanna do it but my dad wants me to get into IIM-A cos he studied there..
god i hate all these dynastic expectations..if i can call them that...neway on one hand i really live by the "Show me the moneeeeey!!" slogan that Jerry McGuire made famous...but then i have this totally philanthropic side...dunno which 1's gonna win in the end...i think i'm doin all this CRY vol work for the certs too...ok 70% for the certs n 30% for the kids...wat??? atleast i'm being honest...

but all this really scares me... i really wanna be a good human being... i know i'll give 5% of my earnings every month to charity cos thats wat both my parents do..again the doubt..is it too much or too little??? i know nothing n nobody can be defined by sum kinda absolute good n evil theory...maybe v jus try too hard...how important is money? wat is happiness? r these questions so difficult to answer? or maybe the answers keep changing according to our experiences and our ever-changing environment... i really wanna make a diff..not in my sister's life or my boy-friend's..ok not even human-kind in general...cos the scale is jus too large..but shdnt v think BIG?? neway i jus wanna make a diff to sum1 who after that wont b indebted to me for life n all that...sum1 who needs ME...not physically or emotionally...the need shdnt be limited by sumthin like that...sum1 who jus needs me for me...n sum1 whom i can help without feeling like i've done an amazing thing n jus helpin cos i wanna...

god...i'm so sorry...this always happens...i start writing down everything that comes to my head n it all sounds like a loada crap...

neway bottomline--- it was an eventful week n my tennis has improved drastically...
n even the Rain Gods are smiling down on me!!!